


Tonight. Tomorrow. REMIX.

by Lil_Jei



Series: Tonight. Tomorrow. REMIX [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: AU. Future Fic. Adultery. Slash. Het., F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-18
Updated: 2011-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 13:17:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_Jei/pseuds/Lil_Jei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Tonight, I'm gonna give in one last time.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The show, song lyrics, and the characters are not mine. I make no money whatsoever off this gig…
> 
> A/N: It’s an inspired by song fic. This is my second version of the idea OR essentially it’s a what if fic which will also have an extended/extra POV and another chapter. I couldn’t let the fic end or even begin where it did the first time without wanting a happy ending for John and somewhere along the line or the next chapter Jennifer will get one as well.

Where it all could have changed if John had just said yes…but would it have changed them for the better?

 

 _“John please look at me.” And that was when Rodney finally reached out and grabbed his arm, after all these years, it was him leaving that caused it. John shook Rodney off of his arm and just had to say it, it’d been on his mind all night. “It’s been 15 years since you asked me where we were in the universe Rodney. Where are we now Rodney?” There he’d actually said something out loud, something about feelings. Rodney could just stuff it now. He’s barely focusing when he hears him, Rodney quietly says right in John’s ear, “I don’t know John. At least I don’t know where we’ll be tomorrow. Tonight on the other hand…we’re together again.”_

 _  
_

_~Excerpt from_ "Tonight. Tomorrow. Never Again." by yours truly Lil Jei

Waking up with a hangover was never a pleasant thing but waking up in bed with a married man had to be the worst. John couldn’t believe he’d done it. He’d agreed last night to having one last and very bittersweet time with Rodney. He’d sunk low before but this had to be it, he’d gone and let his best friend cheat on his wife and with himself nonetheless. He felt worthless, worn out, and then he completed it all by having the emotional and physical hangover from hell.

Laying in bed thinking about it wasn’t any way to solve the problem. So after looking over at Rodney snoring away John got his ass out of the bed and started getting dressed. They didn’t have much time if any to get things squared away before the illustrious Mrs. McKay came back home. With that thought John was opening bedroom windows, turning on a fan, and picking up all the bedding and clothing Rodney had flung about. All this while trying not to cringe at how well used his ass felt, how bad his head hurt, and how broken his heart was. John was just getting past the manic stages when he heard him, Rodney of all the times saying, “Come back to bed, we should have some time.” John had been upset before but now he was livid. He realized in those precious seconds that this couldn’t have been the first time that Rodney had cheated. Not if he knew Jennifer so well as to how busy she was so he could allot time for extramarital fucking.

Instead of screaming at Rodney to get the fuck up John forcibly calmed himself and was determined to say no and did, “Not again Rodney, wait make that never again. Good god McKay we fucked up can’t you see that.” He knows that Rodney’s out of bed and moving around now, he can see from his peripheral point of view. He’d stopped, just stopped by the window when Rodney had first started talking. And now he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say to the man he once loved.

He was looking out the window and shivering, from what he didn’t know. It was sticky sweet outside, even if the sun wasn’t even up. He guessed he could be cold from the shock of everything, what they’d done. What he now had to face up to, committing such an act and having it be against friends was a hard thing to accept. While Rodney seemed okay with it, John knew he never would be. He knew last night he’d been wrong. But he’d been tipsy with heartache and wine. And when Rodney had asked John couldn’t find it in himself to say no to just one last time with the man he’d loved for 15 years.

And now after a round or three of sweaty drunken sex all that John wanted to do was escape. He’d slept some and afterwards when he’d woken up he knew they could never come back from this. *Time to tell him, tell him everything and then just leave,* John, with a sigh and some more thought on what to say had to just do it, “Rodney I’m moving to DC and I won’t be coming back unless necessary. We said one more time and I’m sticking to that. Never again, I’ve given up a lot for you but I refuse to do this to us, to what we were. When I leave here I’m not coming back.”

*Thank god I’d already dressed* John thinks as he practically runs from the bedroom. He couldn’t believe he’d been such a fool. He pretends he doesn’t hear Rodney run after him. He pretends he’s not crying. And he pretends that he’s okay with leaving when all he really wants to do is stay, to beg Rodney to get a divorce and just run away with him. He had to pretend even more that he wasn’t the world’s biggest idiot. He can’t help but yell at himself, *Why did I listen to him? What the hell have I done? What am I gonna do next?* He couldn’t ask himself those questions though, because he knew the answers.

He knew that when he left here, when he left Nevada he was gonna force himself to leave it all behind.  He’d leave Rodney behind and let him go. He’d walk away and never look back, he had to. He’d done another horrible thing in his life, losing himself in passion. He’d forgotten the consequences of what them fucking would be. He tried to forget that he would have to leave; he would have to run away, unable to face up to actions.

And just as he’d thought it would, it had happened. Since Rodney couldn’t, he knew he had to see reason. John couldn’t take last night back but he could change the future. He could continue on with his plan to leave. He’d end up stronger for it. He’d never call or see Rodney again unless he was forced to. He had the rest of his life to think of after all. He wasn’t terribly old, he could find a new start in DC, or so he hoped. __

 _*Moments…Minutes…No really it was what felt like hours later*_

John had finally made it back to the base. He’d driven at top speed, leaving Rodney and what they’d done in the dust. Or so he thought, John had about jumped out of his skin when he’d returned to his office only to be confronted by his former SIC. Lorne hadn’t even asked him questions. He’d just looked at John and said “I knew I’d find you here. You look like something that the cat drug in so I won’t kick you while down.” And John hadn’t been expecting it but Lorne became Evan in that very minute and became his co-worker to his friend.

He watched as Evan walked up to him and came to a rest right in front of John. And with his back to the door John had to listen, had to watch as Evan in his own way lectured him. He was fighting to keep composure as he heard, “Did you really think last night would last forever? Did you really think that guy hung the moon? God John I know that right now you hate yourself ‘cause you knew better but there’s no use crying over it.” John was shocked, how did Evan know, how could he have figured it out. They’d hidden it for years, been broken up long before that or so they thought.

While he was still thinking over Evan’s words, Evan had taken his silence as a need to continue. He had to hear as his former best friend was raked over the coals by what looked to be his new best friend and in minutes John realized something, he didn’t need Rodney. He _didn’t_ need the man anymore than he _did_ need the man in front of him. Thinking over the years, he combs through his memories. And with absolute shock realizes something even more important and he can’t help it when he looks at his friend, his former SIC, his fellow soldier and sees more. And when he sees it he blurts out “You love me!

And by the time he’s recovered and stopped blushing over his outburst Evan’s standing in front of him once again. And looking into his eyes John sees it, he sees the love and dedication this man has always had for him, “Why Evan? Why when you knew I wasn’t…” He’s shocked as Evan pushes up against him and says, “What were you going to say John?…when you weren’t available because that bastard had you all tied up in knots, when you were flirting with all those pretty aliens, when you were being a fool, when DADT was a convenient rule to hide behind, for the both of us? When tell me when?” John needs a moment to digest what Evan had said; they’re both breathing hard and staring into each other’s eyes.

John is just thinking to himself *god he’s beautiful when he’s mad…why the hell didn’t I see this 10 years ago* when he says quietly, “At the very least I would have said we could try Evan. I’ve been mad at Rodney and the world for over 10 years and by the time he decided to get married I would have welcomed it, I would have begged you for it Evan. You’re not just anyone Ev, you’re my friend, you’ve been there through some of the worst. I would have said yes to one date let alone a relationship with you, you’re pretty much perfect to me and always have been, even if you were out of reach.” He’s all talked out when he looks back up at Evan unaware he’d even lowered his head in the first place. He opens his mouth to say more, to say he’s sorry when his lips are closed by Evan placing a finger over there, shushing him essentially. They’re both quiet and thinking and John just stills and is desperate to hold onto this.

They’re leaning against one another, looking into each other’s eyes, and just breathing when Evan says into his ear “I’ve heard down the line that you need a SIC, I’ve put in transfer to DC, how ‘bout it sir?” This makes John start and come aware again and more harshly than he needs to says, “NO!” Knowing he shocked Evan, he hugs the man apologetically and looks at him again and says, “No can do Colonel Lorne, I don’t need a SIC anymore. I do need however need a liaison for the agency. How’s that sound? Paper-pushing at its best and the best part is we’d be equals of some sort, so no real compromise, no need to break any rules this time.” They both smile at that and Evan leans back into him and whispers again in his ear saying, “Then there’s nothing to stop me then from asking this, John Sheppard will you go out with me?” John can’t speak for a second there and with a gasp he realizes he doesn’t need to think about the future, it’s right there in front of him. With that John decides that Evan deserves some sappiness after all these years and whispers into the ear Evan has against his cheek, “How does forever sound?”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I am amazed when I look at you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The show, song lyrics, and the characters are not mine. I make no money whatsoever off this gig…  
> A/N: It’s an inspired by song fic. This is my second version of the idea OR essentially it’s a what if fic which will also have an extended/extra POV and another chapter. I couldn’t let the fic end or even begin where it did the first time without wanting a happy ending for John and somewhere along the line or the next chapter Jennifer will get one as well. AU. Future Fic. Adultery. Slash. Het.

John twisted in the bed sheets as sun hit his eyes. It was always like this. Every morning waking up was perfectly annoying in every way. He turned away from the window and sought out his bed partner, only to find the bed empty beside him. *Ugh* John had always known Evan was an early riser but since they’d started sharing a bed he’d hoped to change that. He had always loved early morning sex with his lovers but Ev was not one to just lay about waiting for John to finally surface from his nightly coma. Evan was definitely one to get up and moving each day with dawn not even in the sky. And as much as it sometimes annoyed John it also proved to John just how much they loved each other if they were able to ignore each other’s “bad” habits.

And another plus was that each morning Evan met him at the shower door with a cup of coffee, a kiss or two and a smirk on his face. That was just one of many pluses that Evan had according to John. And whenever he mentioned these silly thoughts of his Evan would just smile and make up some excuse, especially in the morning he’d smile and say to John, “That’s just because I don’t want to hear the President whine again about how late you can be without your coffee and a kiss.” Whenever Evan would say that kind of stuff John would just blush and try to hang his head and ultimately get a kiss for his troubles.

They’d been together now 5 years and John couldn’t wait for the 5 after that, and then the next 5 and so on. It had been difficult at first. Evan not sure if he was just a rebound for John. And John was even more insecure than Evan. Even now he sometimes wondered why Evan was with him, when no one else had stayed, not even his family. Those were the thoughts that had once made John shy away from affection and intimacy. Now they made him seek out Evan for hugs, kisses, hot sex, and yes even cuddles. And if that made him the weaker and more insecure one, well not everyone was perfect.

But they’d muddled through, Evan had stayed by his side since the minute they had left Nevada and the McKay’s behind them. And if occasionally they both winced when the name came up in conversation with SGC personnel or even the President then they both hid it down deep within. John had admitted to Evan years ago that all he wanted was someone to be there for him. In his own insight Evan had said “I’ve always had your six John, always.” And that had been that, no more talk of leaving, no more stony silences or walking away. When one of them became anxious they sought each other out.

This morning was a good example of just that. John had needed grounding last night in a way that hadn’t been present in a long time. He had been begging for it, just holding onto Evan and whimpering. Though he knew Evan had needed the reassurance as well. The anniversary of Atlantis’s end had come and gone and neither had put in an appearance once again. They’d made their excuses to the rest of their family. John had known realistically that once he’d left Nevada he wouldn’t be seeing most of the Atlanteans again. But at the time he hadn’t thought of how Evan would deal with it. It seemed they both had planned to just ignore the date and the celebration from then on. And it had worked out well the first two years and then everyone that was left became suspicious and angered. Neither of them could provide enough excuses to satisfy them so the phone calls between them had each ended in arguments. But John wouldn’t tell them all the truth. He refused to ruin his life now for what used to be.

Not that he didn’t miss them hence the reason he had been so needy last night. Evan and John both missed their Atlantis family so much but couldn’t bring themselves to be in the midst of the two people that ultimately brought them together. And neither of them had the answers on how to fix it. And that’s made John so hungry for his lover last night, he needed Evan. If he couldn’t have their family’s love then his lover’s would have to do.

And he thought it had worked. But here he was thinking about it all once again and here Evan was, up and at ‘em bright and early on a Sunday morning. *Well might as well get to it* John thinks to himself as he forces himself out of bed. It was time the two of them talked this out and figured out what they could do. They needed to show everyone including themselves that they were past the pettiness of one Dr. Rodney McKay, PHD PHD. John had some thoughts on this but he’d kept it to himself, just like the fool he used to be.

Finally leaving the bed John headed downstairs trying to listen for Evan. He figured he’d be in the kitchen and as he came into the room it turned out that John had been right in his guess. Stopping at the doorway John just looked at Evan’s back. His lover was staring out the kitchen window, into the barely there sunrise and standing so still John had to watch for him to breathe. He knew they had to talk, had to make some decisions, but all John wanted to do right now was to drink coffee with his lover as they watched the sun come up. Instead of doing this, they were brooding and John just couldn’t take it so he blurts out “Marry Me Evan.” Before John can add anything else he watches as Evan’s shoulder tense. But Evan didn’t turn around. He still stood there staring out the window.

And John knew he needed to say more, “Evan I love you and if all this stuff with McKay makes you feel awkward well let’s fix it. Let’s plan a wedding, get married, and prove to each other and everyone else that we’re over the past and are planning a future together. We’ve been friends for nearly 20 years and partners for 5 of those, so Evan please turn around and look at me as I propose.” John was holding his breath as he watched Evan breathe in and out and slowly turn around. John thinks with a gasp *looks like I was right to do this today* his partner looked like he’d barely slept any, “Damn it Ev, I’ve been thinking of this for almost a year and I finally decided it was about time we made some decisions towards the future, more than we have. It’s legal now and there’s no more damn DADT so why not Evan, why not stand up with me and tell everyone we know that we love each other?” John hates to think he was wrong and misjudged the whole situation but in all honesty he wanted this, old age was soon approaching and he wanted the one man he loved more than anyone at his side when death finally came for him.

John is finally face to face with Evan and is just standing there as Evan looks at him. He’s feeling as if their very lives can change in this moment. John sighs as Evan pulls him into his arms and after kissing him on his cheek and then on his forehead. John stops thinking as Evan starts kissing his mouth, giving him a little nip here and there. They stand there for a minute or two, just reconnecting, just showing each other love the only way either knows how. John is the first to pull back. He looks at Evan and just waits. It was scarily reminiscent of the first time they confessed their love for one another. Evan was looking at him and didn’t seem to want to speak for a moment but then whispers into John’s ear, “Forever huh?” John relaxes finally, and he leans back into Evan’s arms and with confidence says, “Forever.”

 


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How far we’ve come is not that far at all but really it’s even further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The show and the characters are not mine. I make no money whatsoever off this gig…
> 
> A/N: It’s an inspired by song fic. This is my second version of the idea OR essentially it’s a what if fic which will also have an extended/extra POV and another chapter. I couldn’t let the fic end or even begin where it did the first time without wanting a happy ending for John and Jennifer. AU. Future Fic. Adultery. Slash. Het.

Jennifer used to love this part of the day. Early morning hours before anyone was awake were precious to her. Even in the hospital and on the base she had kept this routine up. After her marriage she had curtailed the early morning moments drastically. It seemed that Rodney liked those hours the best as well. And there was only so much of the day they could stand to be around one another.

That should have been her first clue really. Shaking her head, Jenny tried to beat back the cobwebs. She had to stop this. She had to stop remembering her mistakes, her regrets. She had to stop remembering her regrets that she had involving Rodney. Her worst mistake had been thinking she could change him, but they both had tried to make it work. Or at least she thought they had been. And for over 10 years it had been fine.

Somewhere along the way though she’d caught the clue bus. She’d noticed how Rodney didn’t seem to miss her when she went away to conferences or had late night OR calls. It hadn’t always been that way. At first their marriage had worked, it seemed like a good thing in the beginning. But it all fell apart when John and Evan had left for DC. Or at least that’s when she noticed the biggest changes. Without John Sheppard there as a buffer, their relationship seemed to crack literally overnight. Not that she blamed John for anything, not after finding out everything she did.

Looking into the sunrise Jenny has to thank god that she came home early from the mission trip when she did. She had never suspected Rodney of cheating on her. That had never crossed her mind, the anger, and screaming matches were one thing but adultery was a whole different thing. But she’d come home to a strangely familiar car in her driveway and when she’d entered the house she’d heard it. She’d heard the headboard hitting the wall and the screams of a woman having an orgasm. She’d heard it all and it was all she could do to stay where she was and not go up there and kill the both of them. In those moments though, she realized whose car it was, whose scream she’d heard, who the slut was that was fucking her bastard of a husband.

She didn’t know what she was going to say, but she knew what she was going to do. This was her house just as much as it was his. And thank god their pre-nup had this kind of clause in it. Rodney McKay and Samantha Carter would regret it. And since their divorce was finalized Jenny had been sure to get her revenge the best way she knew how. That had been the best part of the whole thing. She’d called her family lawyer while she had been waiting for them to finish, gotten the divorce started. She’d also packed up some bags for Rodney and tossed them on the driveway by Carter’s car. She’d made phone call after phone call, speaking to everyone from Daniel Jackson and General O’Neill to a locksmith and even her father.

Thinking back Jenny couldn’t believe how calm she’d been. But she had to be; otherwise the cops would have been called. She had banked the rage growing within her and made sure she was calmed down enough to confront them. It had felt like a lifetime had passed within those 30 minutes it took for them to clean up or do whatever else they had needed to. She had just settled onto the couch and started drinking a coffee mug size glass of whisky when she heard them on the stairs. She remembers being ready for it, ready to give an Oscar worthy performance.

Inside her heart was breaking while on the outside she pulled out the stone cold bitch she was known to be from time to time. To this day she can remember saying, “Once you change the sheets and air out the bedroom Rodney you need to get your slut and go. I’ve already called my lawyer. I’ll have him send the paper’s to her house. If you’re still here when I come back in I’ll call the MP’S.” She still couldn’t believe it, she’d been shaking and barely able to keep her drink in her cup but she’d done it. She’d walked out of the room and into the back yard. She hadn’t even looked back. She’d heard doors slam and some yelling but she had ignored it. She’d stayed outside staring into the swirling murky water of the fountain that Rodney had decided they had needed. It had always been about Rodney’s needs, well never again.

And Jenny had stuck to her guns. In the year since she had caught Rodney cheating she’d changed. It was a hard thing to start dating again in her early 40’s. But she’d never been better in regards to herself. She’d terminated her contract with the SGC and was running/starting her own practice. She had also started to train other doctors at the local teaching hospital. She’d reclaimed her life in all aspects. She was free from Rodney’s taint on her soul and free from the controlling arm of the SGC. She’d see or speak to friends and family on her own terms. She had finally become her own woman and it was about time she took back other things Rodney had ruined for her. So that was how she found herself staring at the new day and having never been happier and free.     




 

 


End file.
